This is Why I Don't Like South Carolina Gamecocks Fans!

LEXINGTON, S.C. (AP) - A man fatally shot his friend with a high-powered rifle in a dispute over a $20 bet on the South Carolina-Clemson football game, authorities said Sunday.
James Walter Quick, 42, was charged with murder in the shooting of Richard Allen Johnson, 43. Johnson died from a single shot to the chest, according to a preliminary autopsy Sunday.
The two had bet $20 on the annual game, with Quick taking South Carolina, which won 31-28, and Johnson taking Clemson, Lexington County Sheriff James Metts said. They drank beer all afternoon and watched the game Saturday at Johnson's home, and began arguing about the bet after the game.
Metts said Quick went to his car, got the rifle he normally uses for hunting and fired one shot, hitting Johnson in the chest. Deputies arrested Quick.
Quick was being held Sunday in the Lexington County jail, awaiting a bail hearing. The sheriff's department said he did not yet have a lawyer.

Happy Thanksgiving

Don't Fart in Bed

This is a story about Smoke and Earp who have been happily together for years. The only friction in their relationship was Smoke's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake Earp and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. Smoke told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. Earp told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The time went by and Smoke continued to blast them out!Then last Thanksgiving she was in the kitchen making turkey for dinner and Smoke was in the bedroom sound asleep, Earp looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. Warm the innards up to body temperature!..and then she took the bowl and went to the bedroom where Smoke was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard Smoke waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. Earp could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After some time of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, Smoke came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right." "All this time you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.""What do you mean?" asked Earp. "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back."

Thanks for sharing that story with me Earp! Happy Thanksgiving!

this blog sucks. the author is boring.

I took the title to this meaningless post from a comment that was just made on my page. And I wanted to retort that comment with...wait for it...it's true! I am boring. Not much going on in the Creegs' world except that I'm flying to NJ tomorrow morning with a positive weather report. If by positive I mean terrible. I'll be in Pittsburgh by noon.

Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving. I'll see/talk to a bunch of you in the near future. Quick trip this weekend, extended version over Christmas!

And I Thought I Was A Dork

So I normally come on here and tell you what happened to me the past weekend, what kind of stupid antics that have happened to me, etc. But today will sort of be a little different. It is something that I saw, not something that I did.

I went to Best Buy today because that is my favorite store, I can't walk out of that place empty handed even if I don't need a thing. Case in point, I went in to buy an ink cartridge for my printer and walked out with Pink Floyd's "Pulse" DVD, which I am watching/listening to as I type this mess. Well anyway, back to my story. I pull into Best Buy and I see tents lining the sidewalk to the side of the main entrance of the store. Not thinking anything of it and thinking that there were tickets to a show or something going on. (This thinking comes from an early memory of Ticketmaster having locations in DrugFair's in NJ, and I saw tents in 1985 lined up for Bruce Springsteen tickets.) So then as I'm inside the store, I realize (rather, it hits me) that they don't sell tickets to any shows, never have, never will. So what in God's name are these dudes doing camping out for? Well as I walked around the store, I walked over to the video game section because I'm intrigued by this Playstation 3, and there were all these gross looking dudes standing in front of a monitor where there was a PS3 game being played by another grungy looking dude. Still didn't think anything about it, other than thinking that the stinky dudes from outside the store wanted some AC(yes, AC, it's still warm here) and burn some time playing games. Heck, when I worked for the mortgage company, and needed something at Best Buy, I would be that guy playing Madden 06, or NHL or whatever sport game was on display. Mainly because I didn't want to go back to work.

So I get my ink cartidge and Pink Floyd DVD and "headed straight into the shining sun"(sorry, that lyric just played as I was typing. Love Pink Floyd, and no, I've never done drugs, that I promise you, the music is just that good.) So I head to the counter where the shiny, happy customer service representative greeted me and told me what I owed her. This is when it finally hit me to ask this customer service professional why the grungy dudes were camping out. To which she responded, "FOR PLAYSTATION 3, which comes out FRIDAY, they've been here since early yesterday!" You can't make this stuff up people. I wish I had a camera phone to take a picture of the mini-Kryzewskiville in the middle of Dale Mabry Highway in Tampa. Crazy! And I thought I was a dork. Now back to some Floyd!

Home Depot Scam

(Thanks for letting me know about this ZDP!)

A "heads up" for you and any of your friends who may be regular Home Depot customers. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you. Here's how the scam works: Two seriously good-looking 18 or 19 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping >items into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say "No" and instead ask you for a ride to another Home Depot. You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start having sex with each other. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and performs oral sex on you, while the other one steals your wallet. I had my wallet stolen September 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, three times just yesterday, and very likely again this upcoming weekend as soon as I can buy some more wallets.

Be careful!

The Ex's Engaged

Yes, I was dreading that day. Although we have been broken up since March 19, 2003(but who's counting), there was a feeling in me that didn't want her to get engaged. I've always heard that it's hard, even after the fact, to get over when an ex gets hitched. Well it happened to me on Saturday. Clemson loses to a terrible Maryland team, and I thought that the world was ending, then I get the razzing phone call from the ex's brother and he kind of tells me in passing that his future brother-in-law doesn't like football or any sport for that matter. I'm like, does this guy just sit in front of the computer all day? Oh wait, that is what he does. Onwards! So for two days I was thinking that I should at least get the respect of getting a phone call. I have stayed in touch with her over the years. My explanation for that is that we spent the better part of our 20s with each other, the "growing years" as I like to call them. I lied, that's the first time I've called them that. But anyway, about 2:50pm today(Monday) I got the phone call. The exchange went something like this:

Me: (monotone)I was dreading this phone call, what's up?
Her: Hey.
Me: (monotone)Congratulations.
Her: Thanks, we went to Puerto Rico
Me: (montone...get the picture) that's cool
Her: You knew?
Me: Yup
Her: Who told you?
Me: Your brother.
Her: I haven't told anybody yet, I have to call (enter college roomate name here) and (enter college roomate here) and (best friend).
Me: That's a lot of people. (wanting to burst into laughter)
Her: Did you tell anyone?
Me: I told my parents, but who else would care to know?
Her: I don't know, maybe (Rock) or someone.
Me: Nope.
Her: Ok
Me: hello?
Her: (not so happy voice, possibly cracking) good luck.
Me: Thanks. Congrats, I gotta get back to work.
Her: Thanks. bye.
Me: bye.

I swear people, the girl gets all choked up if I bring up another girl. I thought I was the one that was supposed to get upset when hearing that an ex gets engaged. I don't even have a girlfriend and she's the one getting quiet and obviously upset when I bring up another females name. On that note, I did not get upset. Knowing me for 29+ years, I would have guessed that I would have. Once I got over the initial shock(about 45 seconds), I was fine. I tried to get myself to be upset, but Bud Lite wouldn't let me. You'd think a downer, like beer would, but it didn't. I got the chance to take a look at myself and made me realize that I am in a good place. Good job, WONDERFUL family, GREAT friends, and have had some really great girls like me in the past few years. Granted, I may have screwed some of them up(see previous post), but I really believe I'm better off without her, and because she's engaged, I can finally move on like people have been telling me to do for years! Thanks to all of the boys and girls that have pushed me in that direction, I truly believe that it's your words and pumping of my ego that made hearing that news not bother me at all. That is the God's Honest truth!

Pay It Forward

So yes, it's been a long hiatus between posts yet again, and yes, even bdonin.blogspot.com has been updated a few times in between my posts, but that guy still sucks at life. I can't say that, I have to "pay it forward." Here's what I mean:

I went to Clemson this weekend to watch a football game, hang with some college buddies and just have a good time. Here's how it started. I took Friday off from work, because quite honestly, there's a hotdog restaurant in Clemson that is SMACK YOUR MOMMA GOOD! Yes, it's just a hotdog, but it's awesome. I didn't find this place until I went back to work at CU. Anyway, I left early so that I could get there before it closed, then go out to dinner with a friend that works both Friday night and Saturday all-day, that I haven't seen in a few months. Anyway, those "plans" would quickly turn to no avail. I was in Ocala, about 90 miles north of Tampa when my car breaks down. On a major interstate, just loses power and I coast over to the shoulder. I do have AAA, but it's only the basic membership. That detail will come into play in a minute. The tow truck came and picked me up. I know the area pretty well and knew there was a jeep dealership relatively close, so I had it towed there. I get out of the towtruck and immediately a woman, older, but definitely not unattractive approaches me, introduces herself and asks me if I am going up for Homecoming at Clemson. I tell her that I am, as soon as I can get my car worked out. She then goes on to tell me that she saw me broken down on I-75 and then proceeded to follow me to the dealership. She continued that she too was going to the game and would be more than happy to offer me a ride, hence, the reason she followed to the dealership. At this very moment, the driver of the tow truck with both of his teeth(that's not a lie, he had one big tooth in front, and one off to the left, about three down from the first one, meth is a hell of a drug, apparently.) Anyway, he tells me I owe him 8 bucks. Doesn't explain why, or how much it was per mile over five, just tells me "Hey, you owe me 8 bucks." It's funny too, because my GPS system in my car told me the dealership was 4.4 miles away. The way that methanphetamine dude took was apparently closer to 8. Whatever, I didn't think it was that bad, and I opened my wallet to nothing. No money in it, and not an ATM to be found anywhere. I asked if she would drive me to the ATM and she just said, "(Creegs), I'll just float you 10, get me back some other time." So right there, one of the nicest things anyone has done for me, without knowing me. Then, she sits there and waits for about an hour. Mind you, I got to the dealership at around 10:15, and now it's about 11:00am. So this nice lady has been waiting with me for awhile. We had good conversation about Clemson and each other. It seemed she was trying to make me feel comfortable with her, but quite honestly, unless she had a gun in the car, I probably could have overpowered her advances towards me. Long story short, the Service Manager comes up to me and tells me that they figured out what's wrong with the car, and it won't take too long, but it will definitely be fixed that day, and I could get right back on the road and head to Clemson. So I turned down the ride, even after she waited with me for that long. It was something about not having a car up there, and being virtually powerless as to when I was able to leave on Sunday after a 14 hour day of drinking. As we were parting, I went into this whole, "I don't know how to repay you, this was the nicest thing that someone has ever done for me, following me to the dealer, giving me money, yada yada. And she says, "Consider it a gift, "PAY IT FORWARD!"

Great times this weekend, capped off with a Clemson Tiger victory in all purple uniforms. Ranked #10 in the nation, at 6-1, it's a really exciting year for the Tigers! The place was packed and loud and raucous(always wanted to use that word). ZD was in the house with his lovely bride Ho(r)ney B. Get it Honey Bee with an R mixed in. Thanks for the vodka B, got the night moving in the direction that I had envisioned. I owe you about six bottles (no mom, I didn't drink six bottles of vodka, only a little of one, but it goes way back). The drive home was a bit rough, but fine. Was in the bed at 8:30 last night. Felt good. Now it's a busy week of work, and then heading up to Lil' Beef's wedding. I got Tyka in town for a few days starting tonight. It ought to be a hectic, fun week.

Remember, Pay it Forward!

Where Have You Been?

So it's been weeks since my last post. I think almost three weeks to be exact. I wanted to be able to write something down that's happened in the past couple of weeks and there are a few things that happened that are worth mention.

I hit an alligator. That's right, I drove over an alligator. Does that happen anywhere else but Florida? I'll set the scene. I was at a school in a very well-to-do development, where the tennis and golf teams are the best in the state and have had some very well-known professional golfers and tennis players come through. It's a boarding school with a semi-international flavor to it. Mmmmm...international flavor. Sorry, I'll get back to it. So I'm driving out of there after buying some of their books, and was about to get on the phone with my East Coast of Florida counterpart, when I felt like I hit a speed-bump. This is not out of the ordinary in this development because there are speed bumps so that you don't speed through this beautiful area. But this time it was different because there was no speed bump. So I look in my rear view and passenger side mirror to see this 5 ft. gator crawling back into one of the many lakes/streams/rivers in this area. I pulled my car out of the street, got out and checked my brand new tires because obviously I hit this thing, but it didn't get hurt by my Liberty, so I thought that my car was hurt by the gator. Luckily, and converse to what usually happens to my cars, there was nothing wrong with the car and the only thing I had to show for the story was my memory. I hit a gator!

Holy Bachelor Party Batman! I had a bachelor party to attend right here in Tampa with some crazies from New Jersey. I will spare most, if not all of the details to protect the innocent, but man there were some stories made from that weekend. We met some of the performers of the traveling group of Sesame Street Live! That's right, we were talking to Cookie Monster and Elmo just to name a few, and to be quite honest, they looked a lot different in person than what I remember. And they had a beer in their hands, which made me want to forget my childhood. I don't remember the Count saying "Six! SIX BEERS! HA HA HA HA!" I could be wrong, but that's just me.

Flight Attendents! I've had stories in the past, and run-ins with flight attendents in the past. Many of you know my story(ies) about them. This time I was a spectator. There was a rather attractive, more cute than hot, flight attendent on my trip to Providence, RI a few weeks ago. I was in the last row, all by myself and there was a guy that looked remarkably like me sitting in the row across from me, all by himself too. Obviously, the flight was not that full, and as always I made small-talk with the nice lady. Christy was her name. But then I put the ipod on and read my men's magazine, probably FHM on this particular flight. I moved to the window seat, put my feet across the other two seats, read my magazine and watched this guy "go to work!" At some points in the trip I would turn my earphones down to hear their conversation, because once again, I've been there. Dude was working hard! Found out she was from California and wanted to work an East Coast "run" because she has family and friends in Boston, Philly, etc. And because Southwest Airlines "runs" to both of those cities, she went for the trip. She did her job divying out drinks and peanuts and then sat down next to the dude and started talking. She would turn occasionally to blush at the apparent tries of sweet talking by the big headed dude across the way. But it seemed to be working. Long story short, I thought he had her in the bag. She was obviously not from the area, and I thought he had a shot at bringing her to his place of stay, because he was not from there either. He lived in Florida(which is also obvious because that's where we were flying from), and was (ironically enough) visiting his Sister and Brother-in-law, and newborn nephew! I went up there to visit my brother, sister-in-law and niece! Alanis Morrisette never said it better. I was watching me three years ago on this plane. So we get off the plane, I'm next to this guy walking to the baggage claim, and he's strolling down the terminal at a slow pace (I'VE DONE THIS) to wait until the flight crew deboarded. So he goes down the escalator, and I don't know if any of you have ever been to the Providence airport, but it's small and everyone has to exit the same way. So he's as good as gold in my book, she was digging the guy, and then it happened. She walks right by him, gives a quick smirk, and walks out the door, gets on a Radisson Airport Shuttle van and out of the dudes life. I stared pretty hard on the flight, and I'm almost positive the guy didn't get a phone number or anything. You should have seen the big guy. He dropped the shoulders and walked as if someone killed his dog. Surely he got shot down. Ouch!

Big Weekend this weekend. Staying put again in Florida. Going to watch the State University of New Jersey play University of South Florida tonight in Football action. Probably will be drinking about 154 beers. Should be good times. Saturday, just watching the Tigers play at 7:45pm, and then relaxing and recovering on Sunday. It really sounds like a broken record. That's what I seem to do every weekend! Have a great one. Be safe!

p.s. On a serious note, as someone who works in schools and sometimes does have interactions with students, my prayers are with the family of the girl in Platte Canyon High School in Colorado and closer to home, the officer's family that was shot and killed yesterday in Lakeland. Sucks that shit like that happens every day.

I Support Eagle Hunting...

Ok, so maybe I'm upset by the loss of my beloved Clemson Tigers at the hands of the Boston College Eagles, but it was a fun trip up to Beantown. Got to see Finn, my brother, my sister-in-law and niece among other Clemson friends. Good people all around. Highlights of the weekend included drinking beer after been in a parking garage because we were not allowed to "carry beer to the tailgate area" but it was perfectly fine to drive 87 cases of beer in a car there. Made perfectly good sense if we lived in Cuba or the old Soviet Union, but not in the Irish Catholic capital of the world where beer flows like water. And not only that but we were only allowed to walk onto the field two hours prior to the game and limited to an hour of after-tailgating. Rather odd, especially because posted all over the big screens in the stadium was the fact that for the BYU game, they're given TWO hours. So I took it upon myself to ask EVERY cop why the mormons got two hours but the southerners, and to be honest, every one of the 5-0 had a great sense of humor with the exception of one who after I said, "why do the mormon's get two hours and we only get one" to which this wonderful individual responded, "you have about two minutes to get yourself out before I force you out." I took that as a hint to get my butt in gear, that is, after I went back at him with a "damn sir, all of the other officers had a sense of humor, but I guess there's always one bad apple." Yeah, I was in full "mouthy" Creegs form. Good times. So after the game we all decided to head to a bar by Fenway Park, which, if you've ever been to Boston is on the other end of the city.

So we get on the train after succesfully drinking 18-30 packs of beer and head to the bar. After about two minutes, we meet some Clemson fans who decide that they try to intentionally get a song stuck in people's heads all day. Well, the succeeded with me. "Don't Stop Believing" was a song of choice, and we were having a great time, probably until I said, "So I had my toungue up this chicks ass..." That went over as if I sat on her, taken my pants off and "sharted" on her. She was rather impressed, and by impressed I mean absolutely appalled. Then I heard someone say that there were eight more stops until ours, and I had to pee, and people that have drank with me know that when I have to pee, I have to pee. So I just took it upon myself to get off at the next stop and find a place to pee. Then my brother decided that we should walk the rest of the way, which was a rather sobering walk. SIDE NOTE: I did add two more campuses to my list of schools that I've peed on. BC and Boston University made 27 and 28 respectively. We get to the Fenway park area where all the bars are and when we walk up to the door where half of our group already was, one gentleman walked up to the bouncer and possibly stumbled, looked drunk, I don't know what he did, but we saw nothing, nor were we drunk due to the fact that we hadn't had any beverages in at least an hour and a half. We were honestly ok. This particular bouncer didn't see it that was and refused our entrance to the bar. During a long battle between my brother and the GM of the bar and two bouncers with the rest of our group, I decided that I needed to talk trash considering that I thought the situation couldn't possibly get better, so let's make it worse. At this point, the line, "these are the type of bouncers that go home at the end of the night and jerk off to Road House." (taken from comedian Ron White.) I added other colorful comments and threw some very off-handed and sarcastic remarks at these bouncers. My brother made some headway with the GM and he was even told that he could have overturned the decision to not let us in, EXCEPT "some of your group was making really ignorant comments to us." Thank You, thank you! That was me!

So after we went to the bar directly next door, we decided that the night needed to end and we needed to get back on a train and go home. What we didn't realize was that the Red Sox game had just ended. So we're walking along Landsdown St. and I am still running my mouth as usual, and I see a Boston PD Cruiser on the side of the road, and I say, "Ah, BPD, don't they kill people when it gets really crowded here" at the exact time that a BPD officer turns and starts walking in our direction. Inappropriate Creegs was out in force last evening.

I don't know if it was the heartbreaking loss to BC or just the fact that I had to chug 194 beers in just three total hours of drinking, or it is the fact that I'm normally like that after that many beers, I don't know. I'll let you make that call.

I'm sorry for the big delay between posts. I've had a run of not very funny posts and more about what I was doing, what happened and just sort of boring to me, so I decided to sit back and not really write anything until I had something amusing to tell. I feel that the trip to Beantown was just that story. Good times with the family. My niece is the cutest and my brother and his bride are wonderful, with the exception of that my brother doesn't realize that I don't like to be touched on Sundays(haha), but he will.

Busy week of work, don't know if I'll be back on the message thing for a little bit. I have a bachelor party in Tampa next weekend and I'm not happy about missing the Clemson/FSU game, but I gotta do what I have to do. Have a great week!

THE Wedding and a Hurricane in the mix...

First and foremost, let me put this out there. I found a new drink but it is probably one more suited for females. As you probably all know, my new drink of choice is vodka/lemonade. At the wedding a week ago, they had no lemonade, but the bartender told me of a drink with vodka/cranberry/sour that tastes like lemonade, and did it ever! Needless to say, 25 of those later and Lil' Beef was drunk, I was not sober, but not bombed either, but having a good time. It was a tasty yum yum drink, but one that I'll probably never order out at a bar as long as they have normal lemonade.

The wedding was a ton of fun. Never have I seen Smoke more happy and smiling. He's usually smug, pissed off at ShitShow and crass. Ok, he's not that bad at all, but I've never seen him happier, and it rubbed off on the rest of us. Earp was beautiful as was expected. We don't hang out with ugly people, or if you're ugly, you have a beautiful inside. I don't know what that means, but it sounded good. Who am I kidding, it didn't sound good at all, I'll just move on. We did all sorts of fun stuff on the weekend. I broke 100 for the first time ever on the golf course. I shot a 94! Went out in 48, came home in 46. I was rather happy with myself. Rock had a terrible day for him and shot 95, and so I officially beat someone for the first time in my life. Cookie shot the best on the day with an 89. Not bad for a couple of hacks! Then it was off to the rehearsal dinner. Good food, great laughs, etc. I slept in late the next day and then it was off to get ready with the boys at Smoke's parent's house. Food was served and we were stone-cold munchin'. Oops, that reminds me. At the reception, I was to break out a new song for performance, "Bust A Move" by Young MC. Well the DJ apparently forgot that part and played the song without anyone realizing that that was the performance song. The beautiful bride got on the dude's case that he had to play the norm, and so I decided then and there that I had to make this performance extra special because it was supposed to be different, but it wasn't to be. I've been involving the audience as of late, but this time was extra audience participation and talking into the mic. I don't like to be the center of attention, I like to make people laugh and smile and dance as dumb as I do. Success! All of those came into play. I hope they all come into play on all of my performances, but this time just seemed a little different. I guess they all are different, as I try to personalize them for the bride and groom. I wasn't my normal shitfaced self during this one too. Even with the 194 "pink lemonades" I felt amazingly sober for the performance. Probably something I've never been for one of them. Whatever, enough talk about me. It was a blast. Looking forward to Beef and Ms. Beef in October.

Had a blast with Vision and the crew in the bar and the room after the bar. Just a lot of laughs and making fun of each other, which seems to be the staple in our close-knit group of friends. Good to see everyone, it's sad when it's time to leave.

Ernesto is ruining my life. First, Vision is coming here on Friday and the original track of the hurricane had it coming landfall directly over my apartment, so I was in the talking stages of making plans to get the heck out of dodge. First thought was that the airports would be shutdown for days if it hit here as a category 2 as first thought. So I was thinking about heading to Savannah. But wait, the path had Savannah in its sights too. So then I thought Clemson and it just so happens that there's a football game this weekend. But what to do about Vision?!?! Well all that thought seemed to dissipate today when it seems that Ernesto is going to come through the heart of the state and we're probably just going to have to deal with wind and rain in the middle of the week and should be clear by the weekend. Phew. You know me and plans. So there is no worry. I'll be here in Tampa this weekend with Vision and the D.I. Rockstars!

Hope everyone has a great week. Looking forward to "blogging" again this week or after the weekend, depending what the Tigers do on Saturday!

The Weekend of All Weekends Is Upon Me

So here it is! My flight leaves beautiful, sunny Florida this evening and if all goes as expected, I should be in Pittsburgh by 11pm. Not really, I should be in beautifully smelling Newark, NJ at about 9 pm! With my track record, I will be delayed. But I am heading to the airport 2:45 early to see what the security will be all about. Should be interesting. My mom said to me the other day that they're having everybody take off their shoes now and she was worried that I wouldn't have "odor eaters" in my shoes. But my shoes don't smell anymore, I decided at the ripe young age of 25 that I would change my socks everyday and wash them once a week. It's a miracle that my feet don't stink anymore. What a novel idea.

So here it is, two days away from one of the most anticipated weddings in the crew. You're welcome Smoke-dawwwwww for the reference to the world reknowned Mons Venus and your wedding in the same blog. Consider it done twice!

But before I endulge the goings ons this weekend, let me bring up something that I heard this weekend and it hurt me. My friend, from here in Tampa had a younger girlfriend...er...girl he hugged a lot, and he was always with her, whether it was a movie, dinner, out at the bar, at her place for a sleepover party, what have you. Well one day they just stopped hanging out. This made me curious because the girl lives in the same complex as another and so we're over there often and I wasn't sure what the status was. She always called me "her favorite," but doesn't everybody? haha. So the other night, me and Can'tMiss were out at the Island bars and saw this young one. I had one too many maybe and decided to ask her what was going on with her and my buddy. She said something that sort of bothered me. Not about her or her reasonings for not "being with him" anymore. She said that she cannot handle people that are clingy and over-the-top lovey-dovey. There was a time that they were at a sporting event and he put his head on her shoulder like trying to be cute, and that was the straw that broke the camel's back as they say. I think my shyness comes out in those types of situations. I don't think I do that when I'm with a girl, especially at a ballgame. Is this kid a good friend, absolutely, a great friend and one that I will go to the grave for, but is his manhood to be questioned in this situation? Again, Absolutely!!! Another situation I once heard was from a girl that said that the guy she had recently broken up with, "was way too into {her}." I can see being all about a girl, but smothering is not good, especially with the overwhelming independence of women nowadays. (Was that sexist? I hope not, not meant to be)

Sorry for that. Enough seriousness for one day. Babble babble, that's what I do best. Could this blog have been written in one or two lines? Probably, but most, if not all of my readers know me better than that! It's almost that time to head to the airport, and I'm alright with the long delays, if that happens. I've been trained in airport waiting. Like I said before, there was a time that I was diverted from Charlotte, NC to Pittsburgh and spent 9 hours in the Pittsburgh airport, so it's still an ongoing joke that I'll end up in Pittsburgh. USAir did give us a $9 voucher for food. I guess that equals a dollar for every hour we had to wait. Makes sense when you pay $300+ for a plane ticket. Anyway, the end result will be a great one. I'm sure we'll have an amazing Friday wedding for Earp and Smoke! Good times will be had in the hotel with Beef and his fiance, Hunter and FineCheese!!! Really that's all I need. Anyone added into that mix would just make it that much better, but it'll be cool to be the "out-of-towners" at a hotel. It's an honor to stand-up at this wedding for Smoke! Although I feel that if Smoke didn't ask me to be in his wedding Earp may have. At least I hope she would have. I would look amazing in that dress. We will miss Robber, but I'll be at his house probably tonight, so it'll be good to see him. I'm going to see Vision, as she is my "date." And of course there will be a performance, which I am nervous about because I'm switching up the song for the first time and I'm not extremely confident about it, but I'm getting there and will probably be there after 126 drinks. Hope you all have a tremendous weekend whatever you may be doing and I will see most of you this weekend with a big goofy smile on my face. And that'll be before the 126 vodka/cranberrys. No double-fisting!!!

Mons Venus and Upcoming Travel

So I was watching tv last night at the house, when I came upon the local news. Now Tampa is the 12th largest television market in the nation, which is pretty big when you truly think about it. Needless to say, we have some Local Access stations that are the worst. Well the owner and operator of the "world reknowned" Mons Venus (an adult establishment where females where only a smile) has his own show where he talks politics. It just so happens that he's running for county commissioner, which in my world means nothing because I don't know politics or what county whatever means. But he had a "polar opposite" from all of his stances on his show for a debate. Well on the news they showed how this gentleman, Joe Redner call his political opposite "fat." The next thing you see is the moderator, the executive producer or Redner's weekly show, and Redner laughing as the opposite gets up and leaves the set. Then a chair flies into the screen and hits Redner in the side. That's all that is seen, because the show, for obvious reasons, went into commercial...or public service announcements, as is customary for these types of shows. Now, Redner has challenged his opposite to a boxing match for charity. Six two-minute rounds for $50/ticket. This is one reason I don't like politics. Was it funny? Yes. Would a boxing match because of politics be funny to see? Yes! But are you kidding me? It's just two people that have opposite views. One guy, Redner, who is like 55, has a grey ponytail and looks sort of frail, while his opposite is a stocky gentleman of early 40s fighting on the screen really just because they disagree. I liken this debate and all of the footage that I've seen to that of running for student council president. One guy gets up on stage and promises that the cafeteria will be overtaken by McDonalds, and there will be stripper Thursdays, or any other outlandish claims that never happen. For example, Redner wants to have a mass transit system put in place, which isn't going to happen here. It's just not. I've heard that they want to put in a train that links the major cities in Florida, which has never gotten approved and that's from a political avenue that counts, the state government, which by the way, is run by Jeb Bush, Dubya's brother. Sorry for the politics because I really have no care, but it's funny to me that Joe Redner is running for public office because he just wants to shake it up. It would be like a shock jock running for office. Maybe a publicity stunt, who knows.

How boring was that last long winded story? I'd say very, and I'm sorry to put all of my loyals through that mess. I thought it was funny, shoot me.

I heard that there is a BBQ at Robber's place this weekend. Thanks for the invite, or lack thereof. Just because the BBQ is in NJ and I'm in FL doesn't mean that I shouldn't get an invite. That's horsecockamemmypoo. I just made that word up. How great was that word? I personally love it. Word on the street is that there have been plans made for the next victim...er...I mean visitor to Casa de Creegs for Labor Day weekend. Very exciting, and looking forward to that.

I had to post something today, and it's really not some of my finer work, but something is better than nothing. Like I've said in the past, nothing worse than going to a blog and it not be updated, so I figured I'd waste more of your time with useless banter. I think I may change the title of the blog to "Useless Banter" that's even more appropriate than "Blah blah blah..."

Have a great week. Heading to NJ for a long weekend next weekend, then back to Tampa for a few weeks, then Vision comes to Tampa, then up to Beantown to see family and watch the Tigers play BC. Then two weeks later head up to Clemson to watch yet another football game and to catch up with old college friends. Should be a great couple of weeks. I can't believe Smoke/Earp wedding is almost upon us. I've been writing about it for months, and it's a week and a half away. WOW!!! Never did I think that that New Year's night at "our HS/College party house in Roseland" would turn into marriage. Or that that phone call that Cookie made me make when I moved back to Madison House would turn into marriage, but I'm glad it did, and really looking forward to getting there, as I always say. GOOD TIMES!!!

Weekend Bender

So this weekend I stayed in Tampa once again. It seems as if I've been here on weekends for quite some time, with the exception of last weekend. But now that I live on this island, I've become somewhat of a snob. In that, I mean that I don't want to travel outside of the island on weekends. I have phone calls from people telling me to come to a country-hick bar and instead I want to walk a 1/2 mile to the bars here on the island and sit and drink with peeps. Gone are the days when people would say, "Dude, let's go to {insert bar here} to pick up chicks" and I jump on that. Maybe I'm getting old, although my liver would argue with you about that, but I just want to go to the local bars with good friends, drink $140 worth of vodka/lemonades(like saturday) and walk home at 3 in the morning. That's how I roll now! It's sort of scary. But that's the way, uh huh uh huh, I like it, uh huh uh huh. Sorry about that last sentence. But anyway, back to the weekend.

It started on Thursday, kind of like Clemson. Me and BamaBill went to Tate's, the local sports bar/pizza joint. Great place, great bartenders and always friendly faces in there. We're regulars. It's like Cheers here on the island. I walk in and one of the bartenders, says "Hey Creegs!" It's sort of sad, really. But anyway, we went out to watch a baseball game, grab good pizza and drink some pitchers. We usually do it one night a week, and go home after the game is done, after three or four pitchers, nothing too much for four or five of us. This week was different because we ran into Citizen's new girl, who basically challenged our manhood and 10 pitchers later (between just two of us) we were leaving the bar at midnight, having to work in the morning. Not shitty, just buzzing good, Friday still sucked. Friday evening I was just planning on laying low because Saturday was a planned bender, and I wanted to be in prime form. That was to no avail. Can'tMiss calls and said that he needed to talk to me, which usually means that a case or two of shotgunning beers and then liquor later the story would come out. So he brought over a 12-er to start. Long story short, we ended up walking home at about 2:30am, and staying up chatting it up until about 4:30am. Not good. Needless to say, I rolled out of bed on Saturday at noon and having to head to BamaBill's house to help him move. Then Johnny O's girl comes over with beer, so we have to have one, no choice in the matter.

The move was short and sweet, and we headed out to lunch at the local Mexican restaurant, which ripped me up, but that's another story for another time. Had a corona there for lunch and wasn't feeling it, and wasa worried about our planned bender for the evening. Went home, and hung out on the couch for quite some time. Phone rings again, Can'tMiss looking to get started for the night. Me, not having the ability to say no to anyone, told him to come over and we'd get it going. Another long story short, we head out to the bar at 6:30pm. Vodka/lemonades started flowing at about 8:30pm, and the night was officially, as far as my memory is concerned. Good people all around. BamaBill and his ex got into an argument, and went home early, which was a little disappointing, but I managed to bang on his door late night. He was happy about that, as most people would be. You could imagine. But there was beerpong/beirut late night, which also lead to some debauchery. It was a good time. There are more details, but I can't remember everything and some things may have to stay inside to protect the innocent. Nothing bad happened, so I guess the bender was a success.

Sunday was a BBQ out at BamaBill's and his complex people. Good people all around. Good food. I drank sweet tea, but Bama was drinking. I went out and bought a 12 and didn't even open it. Saturday was a bit rough, Sunday morning was rougher. I think I'm going to hold off on the alcohol for the week, that is, unless Bama calls and wants to watch some baseball and play some GoldenTee. I'm in trouble.

Looks like I may be heading to Savannah this weekend, but I have to get the car fixed at some point before that happens. I'll let the people involved know when a decision is made. Have a great week!

Random Day=Random Thoughts

So I hate text messaging, it's official. I do it all the time, but I just don't like it. I'll continue to do it, but it's not because I want to, it's because I'm addicted to it. I can't stop.

That's all I have to say about that. I feel like I have to write something on there, mid-late week just to stay current. This week has been a shitshow, and not the guy that lives in Connecticut, it's just been a mess. I can't buy any books for more than 100 bucks, and my car's alignment is all banged up so I called the dealer to get it fixed, because that's what I do, and they can't see me until next week, which is cool, so I asked what day, and he said, you pick, so I said Tuesday, and he said that he "couldn't accomodate me" and then hung up. Hmmm. That's odd. Maybe I was just tired and didn't hear everything correctly, but unless the place was being shot up, why the hang up? Your guess is as good as mine.

The weekend is right around the corner, and I was talking to Hunter the other day about going up to Savannah this weekend, and it would have been good to see all of the future Doctor-wannabes(I mean that in the best way possible, seriously.) Then I realized that my buddy Bama is moving apartments and being that I was at a bachelor party when I (was) moved, and he did EVERYTHING, I figure I should probably be there to help him out. He scratched my back, time to scratch his, in a non-sexual way. BUT, I'm sure some of you will be getting phone calls early in the day on Saturday because that's what I do, I drunk dial, and we're apparently going to get an early start. Not sure I have a choice, but I just hope I can hold off getting too drunk on Friday, because people are already talking about going out, and I know that Can'tMiss will be calling early in the day. Should be interesting. I think it's great that I worry about just how much drinking I'll be doing. As if I had nothing else to worry about. The life of an "islander." (I live on Davis Island)

Hope you guys have a great rest of the week and weekend. Remember, you have a friend in Florida, and he's more than happy to host you if you want beach and sun!

New Jersey Weekend

Why is it that whenever I come back home from...well, home, do I always have something great to say about my friends? I'm guessing because when times are tough we all band together and help the people that are in need of a hug or a smile and a laugh. We really see just who is the true friends. I went back to NJ this past weekend on a whim. I got wind of the passing of two of the best people in the "group's." father Robber and Vision(new name, probably will change, but it's the sister of Robber) lost their father last week way too soon. Obviously stricken with grief and sorrow we were called into duty. It was second nature to a handful of us as to what we had to do. Me from Florida, Robber's boy from L.A., Vision's friends from Michigan and PA, along with our local friends all came together and rushed to get to their sides for a smile and a hug and just to show them just how sorry we all were at their great loss. There was only one really, truly understandable and acceptable absence when Hunter didn't come back up from Savannah because of his education, but it wasn't from lack of trying, and FineCheese's flight up on Friday was cancelled, but boy oh boy they were both with us and the family. It was a truly great tribute to their dad by the amount of people that flooded the funeral home and then the church on Saturday.

To them, I say, please don't hesitate to call any one of us for an ear, and in my case, I'll be back in three weeks for a shoulder. There's absolutely no shame in (as I told them this weekend) to USE us! Each and every one of our "clique" is ready and willing to lend the ear and the shoulder and extend a tissue or a hug. There is nothing you can say that is "silly" or "embarrasing" to us. This is why I love my friends. We had two of the group's finest in need and without hesitation and without care of other plans, we dropped everything and came to their side.

It's been a year, almost to the day that I lost my uncle and this terrible occurance left me thinking about him and how I do still miss him tremendously, and as I sat on the front stoop or on a back porch this weekend with the two of them, I felt the loss, I hurt for them, I choked out some tears at the church and funeral home for them. I'm sorry that I'm writing about this, but I just want them to know that we're here. We'll always be here. I'll try to make them smile and laugh at my dumb antics. The invite is wide open to come to Tampa, to "get away" for a few days, or weeks, or years, I don't care.

I do use this blog as a freewrite source, a source to put down my feelings and sharing the dumb things I do, normally with alcohol involved, but I feel like I need to do tribute to my friends and their families when the need is there. This is one of those times.

Robber and Vision, I love you guys! You know that. And the thanks that you kept giving me for coming back means a lot, but it was my absolute pleasure to be there by your side during this time. It'll be my pleasure to be there any time you need me. I know it's tough being that I'm 1500 miles away, but not only do I have one phone, I have two! Stay strong, and God Bless!

Smokey and Earp's wedding is the next time that I'll be in NJ and I'm really looking forward to that! Should be fun times!!!

Wow! That's All I Can Say

ZDP sent me this email today, and you may have read it before or not, but it's a solid read. I thought that I should post it for others to read. Impressive! Hits home especially with family over there!

Last week I was in Atlanta, Georgia attending a conference. While I was in the airport, returning home, I heard several people behind me beginning to clap and cheer I immediately turned around and witnessed one of the greatest act's of patriotism I have ever seen. Moving thru the terminal was a group of soldiers in their camo's, as they began heading to their gate everyone (well almost everyone) was abruptly to their feet with their hands waving and cheering. When I saw the soldiers, probably 30-40 of them, being applauded and cheered for it hit me. I'm not alone. I'm not the only red blooded American who still loves this country and supports our troops and their families. Of course I immediately stopped and began clapping for these young unsung heroes who are putting their lives on the line everyday for us so we can go to school, work and home without fear or reprisal. Just when I thought I could not be more proud of my country or of our service men and women a young girl, not more than 6 or 7 years old, ran up to one of the male soldiers. He kneeled down and said "hi," to the little girl then she asked him if he would give something to her daddy for her. The young soldier, he didn't look any older than maybe 22 himself, said he would try and what did she want to give to her daddy. Then suddenly the little girl grabbed the neck of this soldier, gave him the biggest hug she could muster and then kissed him on the cheek.The mother of the little girl, who said her daughter's name was Courtney, told the young soldier that her husband was a Marine and had been in Iraq for 11 months now. As the mom was explaining how much her daughter, Courtney, missed her father, the young soldier began to tear up. When this temporarily single mom was done explaining her situation, all of the soldiers huddled together for a brief second. Then one of the other servicemen pulled out a military looking walkie-talkie. They started playing with the device and talking back and forth on it. After about 10-15 seconds of this, the young soldier walked back over to Courtney, bent down and said this to her, "I spoke to your daddy and he told me to give this to you" He then hugged this little girl that he had just met and gave her a kiss on the cheek. He finished by saying "your daddy told me to tell you that he loves you more than anything and he is coming home very soon."The mom at this point was crying almost uncontrollably and as the young soldier stood to his feet he saluted Courtney and her mom. I was standing no more than 6 feet away from this entire event unfolded. As the soldiers began to leave, heading towards their gate, people resumed their applause. As I stood there applauding and looked around, their were very few dry eyes, including my own. That young soldier in one last act of selflessness, turned around and blew a kiss to Courtney with a tear rolling down his cheek. We need to remember everyday all of our soldiers and their families and thank God for them and their sacrifices. At the end of the day, it's good to be an American.

"I'll take, 'shit that doesn't happen to me' for $400 please Alex!"

So here we are, yet again, weeks between posts. But once again, I've had a pretty hectic week and it's the weekend now and I have a moment to breathe and write down some thoughts for the entire world to see. The title of the blog comes to me today from my wednesday and thursday. See, I'm not used to being hit on, even though people tell me that I'm absolutely oblivious to signs of females showing interest in me, I don't see it, ever. The one girl I liked and really went hard after and pursued for a long period of time, I dated for some time. But since then, my lack of game has become even less, and here I am seeing friends have children already and I'm still sitting on my thumbs. But enough crying, back to the story.

Everyone that knows me knows what I do for a living and knows that the summers are the most hectic time of my year. I have a big account with Collier County, Florida, in Naples. They send all of their K-12 textbooks to me, to a warehouse in Tampa, to which I have to go in and "sort" it. Well, it's actually a beautiful warehouse as far as warehouses are concerned. It's actually a transportation company's warehouse, so they have people in an office scheduling freight shipments, logistics, etc. Well the secretary in the office is an older woman. None that I would ever pursue, but the other day I was there from 8-3, and sweating through 4 t-shirts. I was gross to say the least. Sweating through a hat, just a mess. So as I was leaving, the secretary asked me where I was going. I said that I was going to get a haircut and to watch the World Cup semi-final game. She gave me this coy look and said, "damn, you are going to look good with a haircut." I smiled and laughed as I normally do and went on my way. Not thinking anything of it. The next day, I was back in the warehouse from 8-6, so I had to go into the office to fax things, ask questions, etc. The secretary asked me to take my hat off, which I did and she smiled again, and said, "damn, you need to write your number down on this paper. You see what a little hair cut can do?" Once again, I laughed, and walked out of the office. Later on in the day I walked back into the office to ask for a sharpee marker and she said, "I have something better than that" and referenced the paper for me to write my number down, or something, I don't know, remember, I'm oblivious. Once again, smile, laugh, walk out with the sharpee. THEN, I walk back in to give back the sharpee after I was told that my fax didn't go through, so I was sitting by the fax machine, leaning over the secretary's desk, she said something about the woman that I borrowed the sharpee from, and quite honestly, I know the name of the owner of the company and the office manager and that's it. She said the name, I must have given a look as if I didn't know who that was, and then she asked me if I knew their names. I didn't and must have looked guilty because she said, "here, this will remind you" to which she wrote her name on a piece of paper and her phone number. Lastly, I was leaving for the day, and had to tell them that I was done in the warehouse. They said, "see you tomorrow," to which I told them that I would not return on Friday and I would be back next week one day, and she got all upset, and said, "I need to see you walk in and out of this office more."

No, I have not called and have no intention of calling. But this, as was the first Key West trip with the gentleman who pinched my nipples, was rather good for the ego. Here I am, a regular fat kid with big head getting hit on by attractive(not my taste) people. It gives me hope that people like the big head look. haha. I'm not complaining or anything, I just wanted to share my story of someone hitting on me and giving me their number.

I have FineCheese and Hunter along with Robber coming to town next weekend. Should be debaucherous, to say the least. I haven't heard if Wolv is coming because when I called Cheese the other day, she returned the call, but LEFT NO MESSAGE!!!!!! That's BS!

Anywho. I found out that one of my college loves just got engaged a few weeks ago. That takes another one off the list. Terrible! Smile, it makes you feel better! Have a great weekend and week to follow!

"So Did You Bang the Bartender?"

Mr. T was in town this past weekend, and it was a tough week for me for work. I spent the week in Gainesville doing a big project, lifting, driving trucks into schools (no really, I did back a 24' truck into a roof at a school, hilarity ensued), sweating my butt off, etc. It was a tough week. So Friday morning I get back home, shower, get ready to head to a meeting with a school. Mr T looked as if he had a rough Thursday night on "The Island." I dressed the man up in a Follett shirt, and headed out to the school. He's a natural. Helped me out and we were in and out of that school in no time.

Friday night, I was still tired. But, being that this was the first time since we traveled together to Tampa back in 2003(or 2004, I don't remember), it was really the first time that he's been here on a weekend with me having no worries about work or anything to stand in our way of going out on the town. I didn't want to disappoint the "Treehouse" (sorry bud.) But being the wuss that I am, we stayed in my place, bought 30 beers and drank about 14 of them, laughed a lot and then I just couldn't continue and called it a night on the grounds that I would get "Creeg-faced" on Saturday. I made the man that promise. I'm pretty sure I didn't disappoint. Neither of us did.

Saturday began as any in my world when I'm not traveling the southeast. Woke up at 10ish, woke the big man up and my roomate Citizen. (His last name's Kane, I couldn't be more original.) The deal was to grab some grub with some of my "islander" friends and then hang out where I used to live with Can'tMiss and others and then drop off the T-man with his folks who were in town visiting family. (Always good to see them, truly great people!) So I dropped the big man off at where his folks were staying and I headed out to a surprise b-day party for another islander friend. We were there, drinking lightly until about 10ish, when I got the call from Mr. T that he was back at the house. And then it began. I arrived back at the house, and was ready to go. We still had 16 beers in the fridge waiting for our mouths and stomachs. We each imbibed our fair share, and left none for Citizen and then started the mile walk to downtown Davis Island. Walked into the sports bar, asked the bartender if she was planning on closing up shop early. She said yes, but we could still hang out there for awhile. (now that I'm a regular) Drank four pitchers, and then got the call that the birthday boy and others were at the outdoor bar across the street. That's where vodka/lemonades are ingested. And ingest I did. Oh yeah, there were two girls at the sports bar that are smoking hot! I need nicknames for them, but I'm not feeling creative today. We'll call one ShortBlonde and the other TallBrunette. TallBrunette and Citizen have had an on-again, off-again sort of jaunt as of late, and ShortBlonde has/had a boyfriend. But ShortBlonde is extremely good looking. TallBrunette is cute too, but I shy away from her because my roomate, yada yada. You know the deal. Unless it's a sister of a friend, I shy away. The T-man has a good looking girlfriend, so he played wingman for me(you're welcome). Mr. T challenged me to go up to talk to Short(for short) and being that I was about 647 beers deep, I obliged, stood at the jukebox, picking songs, making her laugh, etc. That's really where that story ends because apparantly I didn't talk to her for the rest of the night, but I thought I did. Vodka/Lemonade is a hell of a drug. But I play the friend game. FineCheese, I was not shy with this one, I promise. I did ask her if her boyfriend/ex-boyfriend was "the one," because we all know that that question was asked of someone in my past about yours truly, and Short said "no!" SCORE! We'll just have to wait until this weekend to see her out. Then I realized that it was 3:45am and we were still at the open air bar drinking "heaven" and I was ready for the bed. So we came home, made a lot of drunk dials and apparently when Citizen came back to the house was the perfect time that I must have bumped my phone and it called my parents in NJ. So of course, they thought something was wrong, so they answered the phone and my dad(I heard about this the next day when he called me) said he heard someone, other than me, say "So did you bang the bartender?" So we all had a good laugh. Mr. T did some un-blogworthy things to Davis Island, but if you really want to know, you can email me. It was extremely funny at the time.

So it was a blogworthy weekend with Mr. T. I had a blast, I hope he did as well. This weekend, I don't have any visitors and nothing planned to do, so I plan on resting quietly, watching the World Cup and eating Cheetos...naked! Have a great week! Yes, I am alive!

Wedding Recap

First off, let me say Congratulation to AYB3 and his new bride, it was a great day. I had a blast. It was a great weekend really. Sort of odd at times, but other times were great. Let's see if I can remember the important parts.

It all started out on Friday afternoon, I flew in from Orlando to Newark where Smokey picked me up, went back to my parents house where I watched Clemson baseball on ESPN. They won. Then it was time to head down the shore to the hotel where the festivities would start. We got there, bought 54 beers between the two of us(Earp was with us too, so technically it was between the three of us.) We are about to head to the hotel to check in, when we get a phone call from Forgetful(new name, explaination to follow) who is all over us about not coming to the Wine and Ice Cream party. So we check in, change, and head over to the aforementioned party. There was nothing to drink but water and wine, and ice cream to eat. I had some ice cream, but shyed away from the wine, because homey don't drink that. After we get introduced to the bridesmaids and other family in attendence, we make our way to the door and head back to the hotel to drink some beers. Of course, my room was the party room, which was absolutely fine with me. 4:00am, me and Forgetful are up still chatting about all sorts of stuff, and I told him that I had to call it a night.

Saturday, we're up early because of the 10am rehearsal. The bride had the rehearsal deal down to the T, it was very well organized. She may have talked down to us a little bit, but then again, it was her wedding and that's the way it should be. So no harm done there. It was a painless process, truly. Then, it was nap time, with the exception of my room being the party room, I guess that also meant that it was the place to watch the World Cup games too. I'm all about watching the world cup, but man, I was tired. Finally, at about 2:45 or so, I got to lay down. That's when ShitShow himself showed up, so rest was held to a minimum. When time for the rehearsal dinner came about, and showers were starting, it was noticed that there was absolutely no hot water. This was a problem. My three second shower was awful. The rehearsal dinner was well done. AYB3 and wife had some nice words to say and their gifts were well thought out and original. Beers were flowing. Then we went to a bar where we took over. I guess it's not hard to do when you walk in with about 30 people. There was karaoke going on. Earp stole the show with her rendition of a Fugees song. Simply brilliant, quite honestly. Brought the house down. Not taking anything away from her, but it wasn't hard to follow the quartet of yours truly, Rock, ShitShow, and Smokey's rendition of "The Right Stuff" by New Kids on the Block. Disturbing really. But AYB's uncle and cousin kept buying pitchers and I would strategically place myself near full ones, only to move to the next pitcher when one would empty. Once again, people came back to my room. On this night, I shared the room with ShitShow, and he lived up to his name. A push-up contest ensued ending with Smoke winning $100 off the ShitShow himself. It was debaucherous. We had one of the bridesmaids boyfriends with us latenight and he couldn't help but laugh throughout the entire debacle.

Sunday morning came and the groomsmen were all getting ready slowly, had to check out of my room, and shower elsewhere. That was quite inconvenient, but once again, I have great friends that let me do those things in their room. I started calling around to a couple of my fellow groomsmen and got in touch with Forgetful who was rather animated on the phone. Only to find out later that he forgot his tux at his home, and now was calling around the area to try to find out where he could get a replacement. It was, afterall, AYB's wedding, and he's a mess most of the time, so it made sense that someone would forget their tux. But if one person was going to pull off getting a new one, it was Forgetful. He did, by the way, pull it off, and showed up at the "church" with time to spare. The wedding was funny, no, really, Judge Connell, father of the best man, and friend of ours presided over the wedding and he added some funny quips about the groom and groomsmen that he's known since 1994. Added some humor to a nervewracking time. Kept the tears from flowing, for the most part.

The receiving line after the wedding was funny because no one wanted to talk to us, so people, awkwardly would come up to us, state their name and then walk on. Then Judge brought out some beers for us, and that was a welcome addition to the line. Cocktail hour to follow, and that was shortlived, probably because we were taking pictures, yet again, a painless process. Then the beers started to flow. One of the funny sidenotes was that there was an empty seat next to me at our table, and the waitress came by to ask what we wanted to drink and our meal choice. I ordered my filet and Miller Lite, and she asked if someone was sitting next to me, from which I responded a resounding "yes, and she'll have the filet and a Miller Lite." Lo and behold, out comes another Miller Lite and at dinner time, an extra filet. Pretty humorous. I had a piece of bread that I didn't eat, but I cut eyes and a mouth into it and fed it(her) beer and even some filet. Sort of humorous if you were there.

Then it was time for my song. For those that know me, know that if the bride wants me to perform my rendition of "It Takes Two" by Rob Base, all they have to do is tell the DJ. Well in this case, it was a band. But I was told that part of the process of choosing a band for their reception was the willingness to learn my song. This band did. The band director came up to me at the cocktail hour to discuss how we were going to go about doing things, etc. I was nervous because I'd never done that before. It was a new experience for a song that's been done numerous times, at many weddings. So nervy that I had Cookie bring me the lyrics because I didn't have the safety net of the cd vocals as my backup. Let me tell you, the band as my back-up singers was awesome. It was the coolest experience ever. It was also pretty neat that people were asking me when I was doing my song because that's what they wanted to see, and then they had to leave to make it to work the next day. It came earlier in the evening than any other wedding that I've performed at, and probably the most sober that I've done it as well. When I started the song, my peeps knew what to expect and they formed their semi-circle around me. There were probably about 20 people that were standing in this circle. I did my thing, and by the end of the song, I think less than 20 people were seated. There were no stupid lines, like, "did I win the lottery?" It was just the song and dance that I do. The dumb moves that make people smile. The dumb song that makes people laugh. And I love doing it as long as that's what the people want.

One last story. The ring bearer was the nephew of the bride. A neat little kid, really. But later on in the night there was a chocolate fountain with many things to dip into the fountain, like rice crispy treats, apples, marshmallows, etc. Well, he got the chocolate all over himself. When I saw him, I said, "Alex, you have shhhhhhhhhhh(wanting to say shit)megma all over your shirt. Well, as any seven year old would do, he started repeating the word shmegma, which, although not a dirty word, the definition is not very becoming. He then says, "I'm going to tell my Uncle Doug that I have shmegma all over my shirt." Well apparently he told everyone he possibly could that Creegs told him that he had ... all over his shirt. I left my mark at yet another wedding. The next morning at the brunch, he came right up to me and said, "I still remember the word from last night," and then proceeded to say it. I was hoping he'd forget, he didn't.

Good times, yet again with the friends. No girls this weekend. The bridesmaids all had boyfriends, who, with the exception of one, were pretty derrrrrn good guys and would fit in our group quite easily. Can't wait until Smoke and Earps in August!

AYB3's Wedding

Post coming at you on Tuesday, June 13! I'm too tired to write about it now, but there are some good stories, hopefully they come out!