Happy Thanksgiving

Don't Fart in Bed

This is a story about Smoke and Earp who have been happily together for years. The only friction in their relationship was Smoke's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake Earp and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. Smoke told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. Earp told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The time went by and Smoke continued to blast them out!Then last Thanksgiving she was in the kitchen making turkey for dinner and Smoke was in the bedroom sound asleep, Earp looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. Warm the innards up to body temperature!..and then she took the bowl and went to the bedroom where Smoke was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard Smoke waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. Earp could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After some time of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, Smoke came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right." "All this time you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.""What do you mean?" asked Earp. "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back."

Thanks for sharing that story with me Earp! Happy Thanksgiving!