Where Have You Been?

So it's been weeks since my last post. I think almost three weeks to be exact. I wanted to be able to write something down that's happened in the past couple of weeks and there are a few things that happened that are worth mention.

I hit an alligator. That's right, I drove over an alligator. Does that happen anywhere else but Florida? I'll set the scene. I was at a school in a very well-to-do development, where the tennis and golf teams are the best in the state and have had some very well-known professional golfers and tennis players come through. It's a boarding school with a semi-international flavor to it. Mmmmm...international flavor. Sorry, I'll get back to it. So I'm driving out of there after buying some of their books, and was about to get on the phone with my East Coast of Florida counterpart, when I felt like I hit a speed-bump. This is not out of the ordinary in this development because there are speed bumps so that you don't speed through this beautiful area. But this time it was different because there was no speed bump. So I look in my rear view and passenger side mirror to see this 5 ft. gator crawling back into one of the many lakes/streams/rivers in this area. I pulled my car out of the street, got out and checked my brand new tires because obviously I hit this thing, but it didn't get hurt by my Liberty, so I thought that my car was hurt by the gator. Luckily, and converse to what usually happens to my cars, there was nothing wrong with the car and the only thing I had to show for the story was my memory. I hit a gator!

Holy Bachelor Party Batman! I had a bachelor party to attend right here in Tampa with some crazies from New Jersey. I will spare most, if not all of the details to protect the innocent, but man there were some stories made from that weekend. We met some of the performers of the traveling group of Sesame Street Live! That's right, we were talking to Cookie Monster and Elmo just to name a few, and to be quite honest, they looked a lot different in person than what I remember. And they had a beer in their hands, which made me want to forget my childhood. I don't remember the Count saying "Six! SIX BEERS! HA HA HA HA!" I could be wrong, but that's just me.

Flight Attendents! I've had stories in the past, and run-ins with flight attendents in the past. Many of you know my story(ies) about them. This time I was a spectator. There was a rather attractive, more cute than hot, flight attendent on my trip to Providence, RI a few weeks ago. I was in the last row, all by myself and there was a guy that looked remarkably like me sitting in the row across from me, all by himself too. Obviously, the flight was not that full, and as always I made small-talk with the nice lady. Christy was her name. But then I put the ipod on and read my men's magazine, probably FHM on this particular flight. I moved to the window seat, put my feet across the other two seats, read my magazine and watched this guy "go to work!" At some points in the trip I would turn my earphones down to hear their conversation, because once again, I've been there. Dude was working hard! Found out she was from California and wanted to work an East Coast "run" because she has family and friends in Boston, Philly, etc. And because Southwest Airlines "runs" to both of those cities, she went for the trip. She did her job divying out drinks and peanuts and then sat down next to the dude and started talking. She would turn occasionally to blush at the apparent tries of sweet talking by the big headed dude across the way. But it seemed to be working. Long story short, I thought he had her in the bag. She was obviously not from the area, and I thought he had a shot at bringing her to his place of stay, because he was not from there either. He lived in Florida(which is also obvious because that's where we were flying from), and was (ironically enough) visiting his Sister and Brother-in-law, and newborn nephew! I went up there to visit my brother, sister-in-law and niece! Alanis Morrisette never said it better. I was watching me three years ago on this plane. So we get off the plane, I'm next to this guy walking to the baggage claim, and he's strolling down the terminal at a slow pace (I'VE DONE THIS) to wait until the flight crew deboarded. So he goes down the escalator, and I don't know if any of you have ever been to the Providence airport, but it's small and everyone has to exit the same way. So he's as good as gold in my book, she was digging the guy, and then it happened. She walks right by him, gives a quick smirk, and walks out the door, gets on a Radisson Airport Shuttle van and out of the dudes life. I stared pretty hard on the flight, and I'm almost positive the guy didn't get a phone number or anything. You should have seen the big guy. He dropped the shoulders and walked as if someone killed his dog. Surely he got shot down. Ouch!

Big Weekend this weekend. Staying put again in Florida. Going to watch the State University of New Jersey play University of South Florida tonight in Football action. Probably will be drinking about 154 beers. Should be good times. Saturday, just watching the Tigers play at 7:45pm, and then relaxing and recovering on Sunday. It really sounds like a broken record. That's what I seem to do every weekend! Have a great one. Be safe!

p.s. On a serious note, as someone who works in schools and sometimes does have interactions with students, my prayers are with the family of the girl in Platte Canyon High School in Colorado and closer to home, the officer's family that was shot and killed yesterday in Lakeland. Sucks that shit like that happens every day.