Well Done Weldon!

Yet another story from my college years, written by my old roommate. This is short and sweet and pretty classic. Enjoy!

I think that one of the funniest stories that I ever heard in college was Weldon's trip to the Post Office. I'll try to tell it the best I can from all of the versions that I've heard.
It was another late night of partying for poor Shawn. He rode his bike all the way up from Thornhill Apartments to party in someone's dorm room in Johnstone Hall. You have to understand that this is quite a distance away on foot, so this is why my man rode his bike. He was leaving Johnstone after consuming mass quantities of alcohol. He was riding his bike and was near the Post Office, so he decided to go through it for a short cut. He gets in the lit up Post Office and notices that he has a flat tire on the bike. 'Great, I guess I'll have to fix the flat', he says to himself. He sits down and goes to work on the tire.
The next thing he knows, he wakes up and there are paramedics over him and some students watching. The paramedic has the shock paddles out and is ready to try to jump-start his heart. Shawn is stunned. He calmly gets up, picks up his bike, gets on and rides away, flat tire and all.
He still has no idea what happened. He was so wasted he passed out while trying to fix the bike and his pulse was so slow, the paramedics thought he was dead!

Yup, these are my friends! (stole that one from Bill Simmons, The Sports Guy)