So let me begin by saying that I came home yesterday at around 4:00pm and went directly to my room to lay on the bed. At around 6:30, my roomate came home with some food for me. At 7:30, I had a keen hold on the back of my eyelids. At 11:30, I woke back up thirsty as all hell and got something to drink. At midnight, I was back to watching the back of my eyelids only to wake up this morning. What's the meaning of writing that. That was the epitome of my weekend. Now some may ask, "you slept a lot." Au contraire, my French brothers, I didn't sleep much at all.
Went to Orlando with some friends from NJ and Mr. Yarbs. What a debaucherous weekend. I called it early last week when I said that debauchery would ensue, and ensue it did. The weekend really started on Thursday night when everyone was coming into town. Immediately after four guys from NJ got off the plane and unpacked at the house, beers were flying. Then downtown Orlando, which happened to be dead was the next destination for Operation Shithoused. We went to a bar on the roof of a building called Lattitudes. It's a cool place, and we happened to be seven of the approximately 11 people in the place, counting the bartender, who was very good looking. Beers and liquor drinks were flying. Apparently, you can "double up" for only two bucks more. This is a ploy to have weak people, like myself to get a double shot of liquor in your drinks. Being that I'm really not a liquor drinker, that double vodka/lemonade didn't taste great. I think I even got gin and lemonade at one point, but that didn't stop me from drinking it all down. Shots happened, and then it was time to go. Seran wrap was involved, not really sure how, but I know it was involved somewhere and had a lot to do with the bartender. Rheana. We went to Krystal and ordered 48 burgers. Pain would ensue.
Friday, we got up and went golfing on the course that the PGA played the Funai Classic. That didn't really mean much to me, being that I'm not a religious watcher of golf, unless it's the masters or played on Baltusrol. But, I did find out that former Clemson Tiger, Lucas Glover was the 2005 Funai Classic Champion, as it's posted all over the course's scoreboards. I found a lot of sand that day, but did manage to shoot a respectable(for me) 115. I lost a lot of ZDP's golfballs, but I did want to publicly thank him for letting me use his clubs, and balls. Needless to say, I wasn't feeling all that great before golf began, but as the day went on, I was doing alright. Golf took a lot out of us and after dinner that night, there was no consensus as to what we were going to do that night. We kind of wanted to go out, but another side of us wanted to stay in and drink, but we ended up going out on the town yet again. There was a street party going on downtown, and it was pretty cool. There was a $5 cover to get into about 8 bars. We only went into two or three, but spent the majority of our time in one. Some of us were extremely tired, but drank down the beers/liquor drinks anyway to try to keep up with the drinkers. Finally, later on in the evening, we were all in the dance club part of the bar, when one of our NJ friends says, "Go Hills!" to a guy who apparently got really upset by this, to the point that we must have touched a nerve or he had a bad childhood experience with Hills or Go or something. Well, he got his meathead friends to come over and start dancing near us, and I was the target to mess with. One guy kept bumping into me, so I would walk away not to start any trouble, to the point where I moved about 10 feet out of the way so that it didn't happen again. Then as I was moving away, they decided it to be a good idea to pour a drink down the back of my pants. I didn't realize that I was the one with the target on my chest. I wasn't even the biggest guy in the bunch. So then dudes start talking as their leaving, obviously looking for trouble. Nothing came of it, but another gentleman, not with our group came up to us and said that those assholes were looking for trouble the whole time they were in the bar. We had a cop with us, so we felt like we would have been okay in the 7-3 battle. We went to Krystal, pain continued to ensue.
Saturday was on. We slept in, and it felt good to do so being that most of us didn't go to sleep until early in the morning. We headed out to Hooters, and I had a boatload of energy, ready for the debaucherous day at hand. Hooters had wings and beers involved and football games as well. Next was TGI Fridays "Front Row" which is like a sports bar/arcade a la Dave and Busters only smaller. Drinks were flowing there, and then the Gentlemen's Club. I like to say that going to a strip club is like throwing dollar bills into a toilet and flushing. That's what it feels like. I don't even want to talk about that place anymore, I may vomit. Downtown was next in our night and apparently the drinks kept coming. We met some girls from Ft. Lauderdale and it was a good time. Big Bird was involved in the night, but I'll keep that one close to the chest. Krystal was next...ouch, it hurts.
It's always good to get together with these guys from NJ. They are boatloads of fun and there are always laughs that come out of the weekends. It's been three years since we've all gotten together on a weekend away, but it never ceases to amaze me just how much fun and how many stories come out of it. Thanks again to Yarbs for allowing us to use his house in Orlando. It is very much appreciated by everyone involved in the weekend.
"You really don't have much respect for a girl when you decide to [sleep with] her with produce involved." - NJ friend from the weekend.
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