(I wrote this on three different occasions. You'll be able to tell the difference in days, and I didn't want to change it because I like things authentic. Enjoy)
So I’m actually in the car, as I type this, driving to Clemson University, in traffic in the God-forsaken town of Valdosta, GA. All I’ve been reading for the past twenty minutes is Great Dane, the mud-flaps on this 18-wheeler in front of me.
Of course as I write, and bring my computer out of my bag, the traffic starts to move a little bit, so I shut down and put the computer away. Then ten miles down the road again, the traffic stops dead. We are driving along and it seems like people were rubbernecking due to the road smoking. The asphalt, which was probably just laid earlier today, was smoking. People were stopped looking at the gentleman out there with a hose, hosing down the median. IT WAS IN THE SOUTHBOUND MEDIAN! Not one person in the southbound lane stopped and looked, it was just the people going north with me.
So here I am, stopped to get gas in some town in Georgia about to have my region conference call. You should see this place, it’s pure south. Every stereotype that you’ve heard all growing up about the south, minus the stupidity, because that one bothers me, but I’m here, in your stereotype. Actually, it’s funny because as I look out of my car window I’m staring at a dumpster, which is the epitome of where I am. This place is great. It’s called Plantation House, and it sells all sorts of Florida shirts and paraphanalia. I’M IN GEORGIA! 92 miles north of Florida’s northern-most border and yet they sell Florida gear. Rather ironic.
I’m sitting up on a perch a little bit staring down at the people driving on I-75 North, it’s kind of neat. Can you tell I’m bored from sitting here and want the conference call to come and go so that I can continue my drive towards Clemson. So much to do once I get there, there always is. There is a play tonight, closing night actually and a whole bunch of my old students and friends are involved and I’m going to try my damndest to get there. Maybe I’ll do a review or something when I get back to Florida. We’ll see if it stays fresh in my head after two hard days of drinking. Alright, that’s all for now, my phone alarm is going off. Time for the conference call…
two days later…
Atlanta traffic blows! That’s all I can say that’s semi-PG. But all that is forgotten now, because the TIGERS BEAT THE POOPY out of the NOLES. It was awesome! What a game. Afterwards, I stood on the sidewalk giving everyone high fives. "It’s just a high five!" was my line of choice for some of those people that were skeptical of the high five. I think it got people to smile and laugh a bit and that really was all that I wanted, that’s all I was going for. Yep, the high five bug was back and everyone was getting one, it was great. Apparently I called a lot of people too and I wasn’t even slightly sober, it’s pretty embarrassing today being that guy, but last night it was awesome!
FRIDAY NIGHT WAS LEGENDARY!!! My boy Mr. T came into Clemson as I did to see a play at the Brooks Center for the Performing Arts, no, that’s not a joke, we really did come to see a show. It was great by the way. But Mr. T had to be at work at 7:30am the following day, but he didn’t care, he wanted to drink for as long as he could with time to sober up a little bit to drive back to get to work on time. This guy is amazing, all of this for me. Awesome! Couldn’t ask for anything more. We go to Backstreets Pub, and he orders 2 Bourbon and Cokes and I don’t like bourbon, I order 2 So-Co and cokes, and we drink one of each, and they go down fine. Then we had to go see an old friend of his, so we leave Backstreets to go to Tiger Town Tavern, and wait in the line. Lo and behold, there is his hottie friend, she was slightly attractive if you like really attractive girls with a great body and just fun and sweet. She’s going to backstreets, so we go back and drink two more of the So-Co and Coke and the Bourbon and cokes, and that’s when the Jaeger-bombs come flying out of left field. At least 5 or 6 of them and here goes the night. Mr. T’s got the girl, she’s caught in Mr. T’s web of desire, I don’t know what that means, but I like it and it’s my ‘blog.’ I think they hooked up that night, but that’s another story for another day, he said they didn’t. I don’t know if I believe him. I don’t think he’d lie about hooking up with a really good looking girl, but I don’t know, it’s fishy, he’s a fishy guy, minus the fishy part. Can you tell I’m hung over and a scatterbrain right now? Because I am if you didn’t know! I only have a nine hour drive ahead of me, it’s not bad, ughhhh.
After the bars, we went to the cast party for the show that was earlier that night and the beer drinking continued for yours truly and I think Mr. T backed off a little, I don’t remember. But the guy gets into the car to leave at 4:30am and we’ll call the girl, "Lori" because I like that name and the fact that it was her name and I’m too hung over to make up a name for her. So he couldn’t find where she was supposed to be staying and now we’re in a panic because dude needs to get on the road and get to work at Augusta National at 7:30am. I think he made it, but man what a performance by this guy. I’m not condoning drinking and then driving but I do know that he was in good shape when he actually got behind the wheel, that I know for a fact. But that was definitely a ‘blog-worthy’ night and performance by the one, the only, MR. T!!!
35-14!!!!! Gamecocks are next!!! We’re going "Bowling!"
I did make it home safely and slept like a baby. Back to the grind today.
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