Finally!!!

Here it is. It's 11:11pm in the Tampa Bay area, and I wanted to go to bed, but I told my loyal readers that I would come up with a reflection on my recent trip for Smokey's Bachelor Party to Key West. In the same vain I would like to point out that my memory may be a bit shady and I may hold some details close to the vest to protect the innocent. If my memory serves me correct, and with my ability to "black-out," I doubt it will serve me at all, I don't believe we were assholes at all during the weekend, although mine was almost violated, but I'll save that for the next paragraph or so.

It all starts on Friday, when I got in the car to drive to Ft. Lauderdale to pick up a few of the buddies to drive to Key West. Six people got into a van, me and two others in the Liberty and headed on our way. Mind you, I had just packed all of my stuff up in boxes the night before for my roomate to move for me. He's a good seed, and I would like to publically thank him again for doing so, so that I could live some debaucherous moments with great friends. That trip from Lauderdale to Key West seems to take an eternity, and with AYB3's bladder, it did take an eternity. A stop every thirty miles or so, so that the kid could pee, and that's with peeing in a bottle twice in the car. Wow! So anyway, we get there and immediately head out to grad some drinks and some dinner at Margaritaville on Duval Street. Beers started flowing nicely, and I knew after the first one that it was going to be a long night. We head down to Hog's Breath among other places for some more binge drinking before heading to Mallory Square to indulge in some more adult beverages and the celebration of the sunset, which, if you haven't ever seen in Key West, it's pretty impressive. I highly recommend it. Me and Beef find the Hilton bar, where they serve Mojito's and my favorite Vodka/Lemonade. I made the mistake of telling the bartender that I didn't think there was any alcohol in my drink to which he made a vodka, with a splash of lemonade for my next drink. I now knew that I was in trouble for the rest of the night. Me and the Beef finally meet up with the rest of the crew at a bar with dancing and still more drinks, outdoor air and some girl that played Cinderella as part of the college program at Disney. Whatever, that's another story for another day. The funny part is that no one hooked up with her. Actually only one guy was hitting on her, worked it HARD for two days and still got nowhere, but we won't mention HAHN's name. What a puss. Anyway. We start drinking some more, maybe mixed in an adult establishment and a couple slices of pizza. Somehow, I don't remember how, me and the Beef get separated again from the group and decide to find the beach, or at least the water, which you'd think wouldn't be hard in Key West. Well, you'd be thinking wrong. We hopped many a fence and were in places that we definitely should not have been. Finally, we're walking down Duval St. back towards the hotel, when we're approached by three obviously homosexual men walking as well. One very intoxicated, like myself. My attention was somewhere else, and this intoxicated gentleman walked up to Beef and said, "which one of you boys is sleeping with me tonight" to which Beef pointed directly to me, and my attention got drawn back to the drunk and like a deer in headlights saw this man say, "You are CUTE!" and pinched my nipples, winked and went on his way. I think the Beef laughed so hard beer from earlier in the night came out his nose. Disturbed, but undaunted, we continued out trek to find water. We jump yet another fence and walk out onto a pier. One of the obviously...you get the point, followed us and was watching as we were sitting on the pier enjoying the Gulf of Mexico and the breeze, but not in a Brokeback way. About two minutes after sitting down, we see a light shining our way and hear over a loudspeaker, "Trespassing!" We walk back, jump back over the fence and talk with the police officer who basically tells us we're assholes for jumping a fence, gives us the whatfor and then sends us on our way unscathed. By the time we got back to the Marlin, everyone was in bed, and that was a smart move for us to do as well.

Saturday, we rented scooters, and if you've never had the chance to see 12 grown-ass men on scooters, it's a site to see. I think there are pictures somewhere, and yes, that is AYB3 with a helmet on. Just because they've had 116 major injuries this year doesn't scare the rest of us (yes, I did just read about that today.) 6pm rolls around, we start drinking in the room, go to dinner, beers are still flowing, back to the bars. We went to Fat Tuesday, which if you've never been, don't go. They have the margaritta-type drinks with grain alcohol in them. Three "190 Octane's" later and I couldn't see. All in all a good night. Not nearly as exciting for me as Friday, but extremely fun nonetheless, and it's ALWAYS good to hang out with the boys and drink ourselves silly for a few days in a place that we would've not normally gone to alone.

Sunday, we got up, did some breakfast and it was back on the road. And here we are, on Wednesday, working off a bit of a cold, working hard, and getting myself ready for another Savannah invasion, this time with Wolv mixed in with Cheese and the Hunt! Should be some times.

The new place of mine is cool, great locale and I invite everyone that reads to come down and walk to some cool bars with me and enjoy the Florida lifestyle. Congrats to Earp and Smoke on their upcoming wedding, as well as AY and his bride, and The Beef and his lovely. I'm honored to be standing up for you guys, and I look forward to the stories of my antics afterwards.