Dust it off, and dust on the ceiling...

So back in the day, I used this blog to tell my goofy story, really accentuating the craziness that was my life. Then I met a girl that changed my life. She never stopped me from blogging but meeting her led to me stopping because I thought I had it all. My life was now complete. I was in love nearly instantly. I do fall hard but this was different. We just got each other. It was great. I won't go into any detail but the time has come to separate. I got a job offer I couldn't, didn't want to refuse back in my adopted home of south Carolina. A great city of which has grown exponentially since my last visit. I'm excited beyond all belief for a new start, a new fresh start, a new beginning. Yes, Mr. Blog thing I know I just ran on and redundicized the heck out of that last sentence but this is my space. No, not MySpace, but my own space to make my own rules. So I am.

This is completely out of my comfort zone and I'm really uncomfortable but I felt this way when I was cast as a Self help guru my (second)senior year at Clemson and had to break the fourth wall and talk directly to the audience, even going into the audience and sitting on laps. A little backstory, I had trouble memorizing lines like normal people do with repetition, I had to rehearse every night and do a scene over and over again never fully feeling comfortable with my lines usually until we opened. I know, that's repetition, but to me it was different.  Then I would get nervous that I would forget lines during the show, so to battle this I would never make eye contact with any audience member ever. Even if I had to speak at them I would find a person's head out there and look right above it, almost over it while never making eye contact. This worked for me for years and years and even became somewhat of a joke to some of my peers. Then the day happened where these scenes were cast and there was my name in a really funny scene playing the doctor that has to not only go into the audience but ad lib with them. Petrified is not even close to the word I felt.  But as the overused cliche states, "the show must go on." As a super senior, I couldn't let on to the younger kids that I was scared of this. I'd been on stage for 12 main stage shows and numerous other Student directed scenes in my college years. Allegedly, I was a leader within the department. So on it went. And I loved it. It was a boat load of fun. I had a blast on stage and literally just interacting with the audience. I wish I knew the name of the scene or even who wrote it. I guess it'll always be a mystery to me.  So I overcame a fear I thought I had by just diving head first into it.  The results were awesome.

I'm not saying that my current situation of going through a separation, even though we weren't married is the same as the role in the show, but I was out of my comfort zone.  I'm still calling it that. Get off my back senor blog. It's completely different. It's real life, that was completely, for the most part, scripted, and I've been in other hard relationship ends but this one feels and is very different. I wanted to marry this one. I've overused the phrase, I've seen this movie before, I know I end up ok, and I will. But for now I'm not. Add into that moving to a state two short states away, starting a new job in an industry I know nothing about and building a new home to decorate and live in alone.  It's nerve wracking to the nth degree. But I know the ending of this silly little movie. I know it'll be ok.

So I will, hopefully, start and continue back telling my goofy life story on this outlet. Please allow me too because it is helpful to me. Reading a former Clemson peer of mine, she's younger, but amazing with words, dealing with a personal tragedy by writing a fantastically written blog has gotten me to pick this thing back up. Who knows how often I want to release stories. Those that know me know I tell my silly stories about stupid things I do or say and it's not meant to be used against me but rather because I like letting people into the absurdity which is my life.

So welcome back to both my loyal readers. Thanks for having me back Frau Blog. I hope to see you again real soon.